Who's really calling the shots in your sale

Who’s REALLY calling the shots in your sale?

Have you ever done the “Sales Walk of Shame” back to your car in the parking lot after realizing you just lost a sale and thought, “What in the world happened?”

You didn’t see that coming.

You thought things were looking good for you.

Your buyer said things were going well.

But somewhere along the way, someone else sunk your ship.

This is a really painful lesson I’ve endured several times and I talk with salespeople about these tough losses in a “post mortem” discussion about what went wrong and how to avoid being blindsided again.

Having that rug pulled out from under you happens most often because you’re not completely aware of who’s calling the shots or who is pushing the hardest for their interest in a deal.The REAL Buyer Journey

We like to think the buying process is linear, straightforward, analytical, or numbers based, but, in truth, it’s more like this diagram:

Whether it’s a Small Business Owner or a Purchasing Agent in an Enterprise organization, it’s not always clear, obvious, or documented as to who is really calling the shots.

A dozen years or so ago, I was meeting with a small business owner who owned a local furniture store. I approached him about advertising on our TV station and had done all the due diligence possible, met with him several times. He assured me he was the owner and sole decision maker. He asked me all the questions and accepted my proposal with the assurance that his response would be a big THUMBS up for the package I’d proposed.

On my next visit, he sucker punched me and told me that they were going to stay advertising with their current channel because his mother and father preferred the weather man and news anchors of our competing station.

“WHAT?” Yes, his parents were really calling the shots – in spite of what he had told me. He was the owner but they were the ones that determined where the money was spent.

There were signs that I had missed that could have enlightened me and saved me some heartache if I had looked for them.

For instance, he would never make a decision right away, he asked questions in emails after our meeting, I didn’t see him make decisions in front of other staff, and the administrative staff around him didn’t ask him questions or bring issues to him when I was there.

Red Flags, in hindsight.

To save yourself from similar heartache, here are THREE ways to look for who’s really pulling the strings:


Feel out the position of your buyer. This comes with a disclaimer – DON’T go looking to open Pandora’s box and invite everyone in to weigh in on the decision. But feel out how much influence or weight your buyer has by talking to those around them. I’ve found talking to receptionists, admins, and support personnel to be incredibly helpful – asking about what kind of big things are happening, what does our buyer have on their plate, et cetera. You’ll get a good picture of what they’re truly tasked with doing and if they are really entrusted with making the purchasing decision from you.

Go Up/Down stream. Similar to the first point, expand your reach beyond the one buyer to those who are impacted upstream or downstream by this purchase or change in vendor/product. For complex sales that require implementations or products that impact multiple departments, getting various perspectives and input can give you selling insights, but also enlighten you as to how decisions are really made within an organization.

For instance, when selling digital print services within a healthcare organization, the purchasing agent I was dealing with was hell bent on not letting me meet or talk to anyone in HR, Marketing, or Administration. I kept pressing the issue until he truly had no answers and had to let me talk directly to the Marketing Director. When I did finally talk to her, I learned that she, as well as several of her counterparts, were extremely unhappy with the paper quality and products he was ordering. They were going to can ME because of decisions the buyer was making independently! I was then able to educate them and build relationships with those directors and secure my foothold in the organization as someone they trusted to deliver what they wanted.

Expanding your circles can expand your reach and give you access influence!

Listen and watch. If you are meeting with your prospective customers, managers, or members of their team, you can put your Emotional Intelligence skills to work and observe physical and verbal cues for those small clues as to who is really in charge:

What is body language telling you? Watch how your customers enter the room. Who leads? Who sits down first? Who sits at the head of the table? Also, observe their posture and body language to see who leans back and spreads out, taking up more room, or looks casual. That is a power move leaders can make. Often, those that lean in or put their hands on the table are anxious to do business with you – especially if they use multiple gestures. Read up on body language or find a video on YouTube such as this one, which breaks down a ton of those nonverbal cues.

Who repeats themselves? I’ve found this signal very telling. If there’s someone in your meeting who repeats themselves or specific points, chances are, they’re extremely vested in either the results or the outcome of the purchase going their way. It could be that they are tied to the success of the implementation and results, OR, they could have some personal interest in which vendor or product is used. That’s rare, but keeping great relationships can be extremely compelling and turn influencers into advocates for their choice.

Who hesitates to answer? This is one small gesture I liken to a poker “tell.” When your potential customer and members of their organization are gathered around the table, look for small hesitations before answers, ESPECIALLY, if your responder quickly glances at someone else at the table. Follow their eyes and where their body is directed to see the “authority” in the room or to see if they’re checking for anyone’s approval.

Hesitations may also be a sign that they don’t truly have the final say in what criteria they are making decisions about. This has bitten me in the butt plenty of times. Building a proposal around what you THINK is useful to the organization without vetting it thoroughly can backfire as it did with my prospects who owned the furniture store.

Those “Sucker Punch” feelings are still really strong and memorable when I think of all the time and effort I put into those deals that I was so sure I had locked up. It’s the feeling of surprise and even deception that registered the strongest for me.

After several of those big disappointments (and, embarrassments), I started looking for those signs that I was or was NOT working with those who could truly make the decision or influence the outcomes.

Pulling back the curtains on the great OZ saved me a ton of heartache and wasted sales time. Get to know the signs that you’re dealing with the REAL decision makers.

Until next time, stop hoping, start SELLING!


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Straightforward, practical and perhaps slightly cheeky, Shawn Karol Sandy's innate gift is helping people find new ways to solve old problems, unique ways to approach new problems and helping businesses re-invent themselves and their sales strategies. With Bold and Brave thought leadership and Clear Action Plans, her impact on business is Measurable and Meaningful and will lead your sales revolution to growth and revenue goals.

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